Aphrodites Themed Lodge Hotel

Longtail Hill, Windermere LA23 3JD, United Kingdom
5.5  / 10
Average rating (37 reviews)

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Traveller reviews

2 / 10
A let down

"We had been given a voucher for Christmas & were really looking forward to staying here.

We were really disappointed with the staff, it felt like we were a nuance to them.

I couldn't believe we had to pay for logs for the fire after we had spent £200 on the room!

The swimming pool room wasn't as it appeared on the photos.

There was a dirty swimming costume next to our hot tub!

Breakfast was very poor.

We just felt it was such a let down, as you expect more with the price, but the room was just standard, no little extras, also the bath was faulty and kept on Turing it's self on.

We are just really disappointed, such a shame!!

  • Holiday details: Jan 2013

8 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

1 / 10
Re; Sep 2012, Mary Faerie

"This review says everything about the Hotel and manager that i should have said in my review last year. We were NOT seeking perfection, just a wonderful honeymoon gift. An evening to enjoy. NOT rudeness and being left to feel like an idiot for complaining. We DID complain about the noise at the time, but it made no difference. This was not a background noise, it was a rumbling in the walls. I would like to hear from anyone that found it easy to sleep in the Tarzan and Jane room, in the winter, when the heating was on. I have never before, or since, found any Hotel Manager, to be so rude to their customers and still have a job. She is obviously still treating people with the same disrespect as we saw last year. If you want to waste your money, then give this place a try, but don't say that you haven't been warned."

  • Holiday details: Dec 2011, Booked Independently
  • Advice: Go somewhere else

11 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

1 / 10
Hateful: the Owner is an Offensive, Honourless Liar and Cheat.

"Did I find anything positive about Aphrodites? Sadly, I couldn’t. You might say being there was like winning a glass of wine. Sounds lovely; until the realisation that you’re chained in a dungeon to drink it and there’s a slug in the glass.

On the hot summer day we stayed, my simple pleasure would have been to enjoy the sun in the “garden area” between slipping in and out of the pool. I consider that a reasonable and fair expectation for my £130 night’s stay, wouldn’t you?. A double door and then another door in the glass of the spa were standing open with the garden on the other side of the threshold but with a ‘no access’ rope across. When enquiring how to get in the garden we were told to walk back through the lounge, through the dining area, back through reception, out the front door, through the car park and round the side of the building (where people on the street could look in). I was so incredulous I asked “can we not just go through here?” and a voice behind us interjected, “you can’t go through there”, continuing, in a dismissive tone that implied ‘it’s obvious and you must be stupid for asking’ “it’s a fire door.”

It is not a fire door; a fire door is heavy and must remain closed at all times to prevent fire spreading. This was a patio door signed as an emergency exit (see images on website of the conservatory and gym areas). The instinct of a toddler understands every door is an emergency exit; the front door is an emergency exit, but clearly this isn’t to say it can never be used other than in an emergency, especially when it is already standing open and your ‘guests’ have paid £130 to enjoy what is on both sides of it. This was the first instant my partner and I felt disrespected and valueless as guests.

In the ‘spa’, when my partner asked for the “relaxation corner with gentle bubbles” (described in the information in our room as a ‘jacuzzi’) to be turned on, the woman said “it’s not a jacuzzi, just a relaxation area” – it did nothing; it was mis-sold lies.

The ‘sauna’ in the ‘spa’ was warm – maybe like a conservatory that’s had the full sun on it – but which is most definitely not a sauna. When I asked the woman if she’d show me how the sauna worked she came and quickly pressed a button before I could see her action – basically disregarded my request to have the controls explained. When queried about the temperature she relayed it was at the maximum allowed due to ‘health and safety’. A sign inside said ‘do not put water on the coals’. So fundamentally a wood lined warm room it not a sauna – it was mis-sold lies. Again.

Then came the total destruction of our anniversary night... the information in our room stated ‘robes are available’ but when I asked I was told there would be a charge, but that towels were available for such use in the spa. Not perfect but ok. So now, to get to the sunny garden from the pool to sunbathe, I need to travel through the building, as directed, in my supplied towel. As I signed out of the area I checked with the woman (for she is not a lady) if it’s ok to keep the towel with me to come and go and she told me “You’re not allowed; it’s policy.”. This was not only annoying, as the literature boasts they “recognise the importance of the responsibilities to manage the environmental impacts of the activities” and yet would rather launder a number of towels when one would suffice, but also embarrassing as I now had to take off the towel. So, in indignation, I continued on my way to the sunny garden, in bathing suit minus towel, and made it two steps before an acrid, venomous voice spat “CAN YOU DRESS BEFORE GOING THROUGH MY RECEPTION!”. Imagine the horror! I felt like a Victorian child who’d angered nanny. I put on my summer dress right there and was so upset I went not to the garden but to our room where, but three minutes later, my partner entered with shock on his face after also being belittled. He described how the woman had stopped him upon return from the pool, and virtually interrogated him, with tangible disdain, because he didn’t have his shirt on; repeatedly demanding, to the same answer, not once, not twice, but three times if he “had come down like that”. Then followed a lasting, staring silence. She then hissed at him; “cover yourself up”. There was no instruction anywhere of a dress code in the place that was our home for the night, and neither did any staff make such point. How dare this arrogant woman set herself so high and mighty against paying guests when she runs what’s described locally as ‘the *** hotel’.

Disgusted, we descended to reception and spoke to the woman about how terribly we felt she’d treated us. My partner is gentle, and I’ve never before ever known him raise an issue with anyone. She angrily denied any fault on her part, talked over us, said we’d “not listened to the rules”, that I was “aggressive” and “mumbled under my breath”. After paying £130 to be a ‘guest’, being lied to about the facilities, insulted and embarrassed in such a despicable way, I should think most people would consider ‘mumbling under my breath’ an understandable reaction and, as a paying guest, my every right.

Our experience was ruined and we wished to leave. We asked for our fee back but the woman denied it to us. We stood there telling her we wanted to go somewhere else because it was our anniversary and it was spoiled and she denied us. As soon as giving our money back arose she finally altered her tone from sharp to sweet, patronisingly telling me to “take a few breaths”, “have a glass of wine” (not that it was offered), and ‘they could order us a taxi to town if we’d like’. Hateful. She hijacked our money, cheated us out of the “haven of peace and tranquillity” we’d paid for, would rather have miserable people under her roof hating the place and ruin their short break than have the grace to, at the last, make any kind of attempt to make the situation good.

We’d only booked within the last 24 hours so little chance that trade would have been lost. We’d been in the building less than 1.5 hours.

As a matter of interest; the next morning another member of staff had a great row outside our window, finished the shouting with “you can shove it!” and marched away. We couldn’t see to be sure but the second voice sounded like that of the woman. What a happy place.

Other issues;

Even if the emotional upset hadn’t caused my dreadful night’s sleep the continuous noises, as something like a boiler kept rumbling on and off, made sure of it. Also there was only a piece of voile on the skylight above the bed, no blind, so at 6am the bed was lit up and even just resting was intruded upon.

We’d planned to pay the “small additional fee” for the extra 1.5 hours late check out but it was actually over 15% extra so we did not.

The pool was cold.

The fabric of the bedspread and headboard were tired, that of the cushion on the chair insulting, and the curtains cheap fun-fur fabric with neither lining nor hem.

There were no blinds on the windows, which could be viewed into from the car park, meaning, unless the curtains stayed closed we would have had to make sure we were covered up moving around the room – the amour had been killed already but would have suffered with this privacy issue.

The double sinks were cramped and could not be used as such – you couldn’t stand in front of one due to the box fixed to the floor as a step into the bath and the second was squeezed in so close to the wall with the towel rail on it that I scorched myself on it.

The tea tray was like that from a greasy-spoon café and was placed hiding a hole in the wicker table.

There was no light in the tiny sauna in the room, no water dish and it wouldn’t heat up – I didn’t bother asking for help with it as I couldn’t enjoy anything about the place anyway.

The complementary biscuits in the tin were already open and stale.

A super king bed is not right with only a king sized duvet on it.

The sound proofing between rooms was terrible. We could hear voices and other sounds from neighbouring rooms – had our ill treatment not already killed our anniversary stone dead I would have felt uncomfortable being amorous with my partner knowing the sound travelled both ways.

The times for using the facilities were restrictive – check in at 3pm, out of pool by 8pm and no entry to pool after 7pm. Firstly I feel 8pm is early to stop use of an expensive private spa but, beyond that, adding a last entry time of a whole hour before closure is simply unreasonable. Prohibited use of swirl baths between 10.30pm and 9am only means the sound proofing is inadequate.

Avoid Aphrodites. It’s a hateful place. We wished we’d read reviews before we booked.

  • Holiday details: Aug 2012, Booked Independently
  • Advice: Avoid

13 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

3 / 10

"My partner and I stayed in the flintstone room at the Aphrodites hotel on the 09/09/12. The staff were very friendly and helpful and the grounds were beautiful.....However....We were kept awake ALL NIGHT by the people in the room above,either they were noisey or the rooms just arn't sound proofed enough. When we spoke to who I can only presume was the manager the next day regarding this she said there was nothing she could do as we should have contacted reception about the noise. I explained that this was all good and well but to contact reception would have meant getting dressed going outside in the pouring rain and going into the hotel ( as there was no internal acsess to the hotel itself and no phone in the room) to press a button to contact a member of staff and when paying 140 pound for a room this is something you should not have to do. her reply was "well its just something we dont do" no wonder you have to pay upfront! the shower didnt work and neither did the dvd player and the room was damp!this would not have bothered me had everything else been adequate but the managerial skills were enough to put me off alone!....can safetly say we wont be going again!"

  • Holiday details: Sep 2012, Booked Independently
  • Advice: take your ear plugs!

5 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

6 / 10
Great hotel, great breakfast, fantastic hot tub, shame about the noises

"We stayed in the Egyptian suite, which was really well done, clean, and comfortable, the hot tub was the highlight for me, private and amazing, staff were very friendly, the breakfast was really nice and the pot of tea was Devine, BUT the walls are very thin, we could here the other guests talk, cough and the other noises you really don't want to hear which spoiled my stay so much, so it was nearly perfect but far too noisy !!"

  • Holiday details: Aug 2012, Booked Independently

1 reader found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

10 / 10

"I stupidly read the bad reviews before going to the hotel and became really anxious thinking of the huge amount of money I had spent for my husbands surprise child free 40th birthday night away, but on arrival at the hotel the staff couldn't have been nicer if they tried, we were booked into the aphrodites log cabin which was beautiful and completely secluded, we had a fantastic night and will definitely use the hotel again, the only grumble I had we were charged £4 per person to have breakfast in the room which I found a bit excessive"

  • Holiday details: Jun 2012, Booked Independently

4 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

10 / 10
Absolutely Perfect

"My Husband and I booked for our 25th wedding anniversary in the parisian room.i was worried when i read some of the bad reviews, ignore the bad reviews! it was a perfect stay, the staff were very helpful and the room was gorgeous, the hot tub amazing, stayed in it for ages. the bar charges were reasonable and there was a price list! £5 extra for breakfast? yes if you want to be greedy and have the king size double everything breakfast! standard breakfast includes: cereal, smoothies, champagne, juices, etc and a full English well presented and lovely. i cannot believe any bad reviews, the people must be pickie and blind....absolutely brill...thank you to all the staff. x"

  • Holiday details: Apr 2012, Booked Independently

1 reader found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

10 / 10
Flintstones Room

"Me and My boyfriend stayed in the Aphrodiates Flintstone Room over New year 2011/2012. We had a fantastic time. Ignore any bad reviews.

We stayed for 3 nights. Perfect location with nice walk into Bowness Windermere or £3 in taxi. Plenty of places to eat and drink and lots going on of an evening.

The room was great...Hot tub was fab - only down side was the tele had sky sports so as you can imagine the other half was made up in the hot tub with bubbly and sky sports. Would recomend the house bubbly aswel. Beautiful log fire. The room was on view from the car park but this was easily solved by closing the curtains which made the room feel more cosy.

We had no noise issues other than people returning from the town later on at night but that was to be expected over new year.

Fantastic room and would definetly recomend this room.

  • Holiday details: Dec 2011, Booked Independently

1 reader found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

10 / 10

"I would advise anyone looking to stay at Aphrodites lodge to ignore all bad reviews! I can honestly say this is one of the best places me and my boyfriend have ever stayed!

On arrival we were welcomed by extremely friendly and helpful staff. We were shown around the hotel and given all information we needed which we both found very helpful. The hotel is very peaceful and relaxing! The room we stayed in (Tuscany Room) was exactly what it said it was. Neither me or my boyfriend were woken through the night by any noises (such as boilers mentioned in previous reviews and the bed was extremely comfortable.

Taxi's into the centre of Windermere were extremely easy to get hold of and were arranged by staff members at the desk. We found the taxi's to be extremely cheap (£3) something that is nothing to complain about! There are plenty of bars and variety of places to eat. Aphrodites lodge is within walking distance of the centre of windermere, I would estimate about a 15 minute walk.

Breakfast was absolutely superb! There was a variety of fruit, cereals, nuts, toast and juices to begin with and then the friendy staff came around to take orders for cooked breakfast. You can even order breakfast to you room for a small charge of £4 per person.

The bad reviews are obviously people seeking absoloute perfection! Being from West Cumbria the Drive down to Windermere (South Cumbria) was amazing. I have never seen such scenery like it! From mine and my boyfriends stay at Aphrodites Lodge I feel extremely proud to be from Cumbria. The Lake district is a truly beautiful place and I would highly recommend this hotel.

  • Holiday details: Apr 2012, Booked Independently

2 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

10 / 10
Fantastic !!

"Having just stayed at Aphrodite's Lodge 5/04/12 and after reading all the negative reviews I can honestly say this was an excellent and fun hotel. The room was exactly as described and just perfect ( the Oman Bedouin suite), the staff were exceptionally helpful and polite, and the cooked breakfast was more than enough to satisfy and was very well presented. Their was also a large choice of cereals and juices. I have stayed in a lot of luxury hotels, and this was on the same level but more fun !! Fine, anyone can be picky about small minute things, but don't believe the bad reviews which have obviously been written by perfection seekers, something not to be found anywhere they stay !"

  • Holiday details: Apr 2012, Booked Independently

4 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

10 / 10

"Me and my Girlfriend stayed here on Sunday just gone, we stayed in the Victorian room, It had been booked a few weeks so as you do you check reviews, well to my horror the hotel sounded awful, i was scared stiff we had just paid £160 and it was going to be dirty, noisy, miserable to name a few things i had read.

It was quite the opposite, superb, yes so theres one women who does most of the work, bar, reception and showing you round but the hotel is fairly small and not very busy so why have more than one person when you dont need it, the rules are quite clear dont use your hot tub after 10.30pm, which i think is fair game, dont go in the pool after 7pm even though it closes at 8pm but again just bare in mind its not really practical to warm saunas up, jacuzzis, steam rooms for an hour. Also they stop serving food at 9.30pm so i dont think its unreasonable to ask you if you want a burger etc can you order a bit earlier. Personally i think most reviews are very picky and wanted to make my point the rooms are brilliant, the staff very friendly, the hotel is smaller than i expected but gorgeous inside. If your easy going and up for enjoying yourself you will be fine, if you insist on perfection and are impatient then ok maybe its not for you.

a great hotel, i have already booked to go back in May

  • Holiday details: Mar 2012, Breakfast Included, Booked Independently
  • Advice: relax, remain easy going and respect that its a small hotel and they are a bus load of staff - that would be very impractical

2 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

1 / 10
Worst Place we have Ever Stayed in

"We were given one night in the Tarzan and Jane room as a wedding gift. We had been asleep around 2 hours when the boiler started rumbling. A first we thought the people in the next room were using their hot-tub. My husband went down to complain. An hour later the noise was unbearable. It came on every 10 minutes and lasted for 3 minutes. I would just drop off to sleep and it would wake us again. We were told there was nothing they could do. We were told to email when we got home, we did, but their reply was that nobody else had ever complained about noise so we must be exceptionally light sleepers!!

We actually do a lot of camping, and i can honestly say i have slept better in a field next to a motorway.

This stay ruined our weekend. We were too exhausted to enjoy anything around the lakes.

We would definately NOT recommend this place to anyone. Did not even get an appology.

  • Holiday details: Dec 2011, Breakfast Included, Booked Independently
  • Advice: Remember to take earplugs

16 readers found this review helpful. Did you? Yes

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Top traveller tips for Aphrodites Themed Lodge Hotel

  • by jodi830

    " the italian restaurant is lovely and the boat trips are great "

  • by a fellow traveller

    " wrap up warm if you are going in the winter and try the boat trips "

  • by Hubert

    " Just have fun and chill out "

  • by angelina47

    " book a hot tub room or use the spa bath, make the most of what you have in the room "

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Aphrodites Themed Lodge Hotel is also called:

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Address: Longtail Hill, Windermere LA23 3JD, United Kingdom