Disneys Port Orleans Riverside Hotel

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This Easter I wanted a different sort of holiday and being a seven year old child at heart I believe I was drawn by some invisible force to this destination; being a fan of the Disney animations in my younger years, (and if I admit it still now) Disney World naturally seemed a destination to consider.
Booking
A strange magnetism drew us towards the Disney World brochure on the top shelf of Thomas Cook. The depiction of Disney summed it up; a child laughing, sitting on top of his [seemingly] father’s shoulders. Laughing, Father & Son = fun and love. That is the magic of Disney, fun and love, and overpriced souvenirs from a scamming multi-billion company!
We hurriedly flicked through pages of the delights of Orlando; International Drive, Lake Buena Vista, Kissimmee and finally we settled down on a page marked: The Disney Complex.
Many of the Disney hotels were featured in this brochure, Disney’s All Star Sports, [3*], Disney’s Grand Floridian [5*]. But neither of the aforementioned would do, so instead we chose the hotel formerly known as Dixie Landing’s (Now Port Orleans River Landing [which I’ll cover later]).
The Dixie Landings hotel was given four stars, or rather four Thomson T’s (as Thomas Cook books through this agency, [in this specific brochure]).
The Price for 14 Nights, (room only) was:
£849 per adult i.e. anyone 11+
£299 per child i.e. 3-10 years old.
Children under the age of 2 went free in this brochure – I also believe this offer exists today, so I recommend those with young children to check out this offer.
[These are guide prices]
We were booked up and ready to roll. Thomas Cook were very helpful to inform us that there were no problems with our booking, a sent us our flight tickets a couple of weeks before the departure. We were also given the option to pre-buy our Disney Park Passes.
* The Disney Passes *
Those travelling to Orlando are given the option to buy certain passes at different passes to allow access into the main theme parks:
Five Day Pass: With this pass [ideal for those travelling for only a week] one could choose this as their itinerary:
1 day in Magic Kingdom
1 day in Epcot
1 day at Animal Kingdom
1 day at Blizzard Beach
1 evening at Pleasure Island.
This itinerary would cover a range of activities (which I will cover in The Parks later). Using a 5 day pass one could have things to do both day and night – but personally this wouldn’t be my choice, as my last trip to Florida was 14 days and nights long.
Disney also offer these other two passes:
7-Day Park Pass and 10-Day Hopper.
7 days is perfect to get a range of Disney activities into your holiday, but to also experience the other delights of Florida – including Sea World, Busch Gardens etc.
10 days I feel is too much for me, or for those going for 14 days. This park hopper pass (called hopper as you can visit the same park as many times in one day as you like) is ideal for those thrill-a-minute, never-stop people. Or for the club-a-holics who like to incorporate Pleasure Island into their agenda almost every day, with the 10 day park hopper pass this is fine!
* The Flight & Transfer *
Arriving at the airport three hours before departure is always good – an early check-in means you have the chance (mostly) to make sure you and your family are seated together. Unless you have already pre-booked your seats. Check out the extra-legroom option too, this is always good, especially when travelling to the US of A. 9/10 hours is a long time for children, and for us; so I recommend this legroom option to ensure ones comfort on a flight.
On our trip everything ran efficiently. We boarded on time, took off on time, and were allocated seats together (luckily as there were nine of us!). On board our 767-500, or in layman/you and me terms; a normal sized plane. (I.e. not Jumbo) We were taken through the expected safety tape and demonstration; then we were OFF!
Nine ours later, 9,000,000 babies tears later, 400 snores later we safely landed in the new airport.
Transfer was good, it was 1hour 45mins, but the bus was luckily air conditioned, which was good compared to the stuffy Florida night-time heat.
* The Accommodation *
As I noted earlier we booked for the hotel formerly known as Dixie Landings. Dixie’s sister hotel Port Orleans has now taken over Dixie Landings, and it has now converted the D.L. to Port Orleans River Landings. But that only goes for the title. Nothing else has changed.
I’ll refer to the hotel has D.L. as that was how I knew and loved it on both my visits!
The hotel is set on a picturesque man-made river, flowing with life, from quite extraordinary fish, to the rare otters; which I was so lucky to encounter. A big ol’ red working water-wheel turns powering the “cotton mill”.
Each block of hotel rooms has its own name, I was lucky to be given a room in the closest possible place to the main complex of the hotel: Alligator Bayou.
The room was quite traditionally furnished, and had 2 four-poster double beds in each room. Each room also has its own large en suite, and television with cable.
American Cable is also the best featuring the biggest channels on American TV, such as (obviously) The Disney Channel, The WB, ABC and Paramount. (Which all made great viewing when one boring night out of 14 came along.)
The main part of the hotel has a grocery/gift shop. But be warned: This is HIGHLY expensive, and they do tend to rip you off. A packet of chocolate chip cookies was $6!
There is also a large reception, with friendly staff, with someone free always, so no more queues when you’re knackered and you’ve just arrived!
The main bar area is called The Cotton Co-op. This features evening entertainment with the highly annoying Bob Jackson. You will love his music at first, with numbers such as American Pie, but by the end of your vacation you will want to punch his lights out!
A short walk from the cotton co-op, or rather through a set of double doors is Boatwright’s, the “posh” restaurant. In this restaurant there is a set menu, and a menu for children, and the serve up chicken and steak delights. For the more adventurous a daily specials menu is thrown in your face, usually serving the most scrumptious Louisiana cuisine. The average meal for four in this restaurant, including all drinks will be about $50, or £35.
For the not so adventurous, or for your cheap meals and snacks, there is a large food hall, containing windows with: Pizzeria, American Meals, and Sandwiches & Salads. The average meal for four in this food hall is about $20.
My recommendation: In this Disney hotel, [and most others] people can buy a cup suitable for both hot and cold drinks, with UNLIMITED refills throughout the entire duration of your holiday. This is a lifesaver, especially on lazy days around the pool, or just when you want to escape the Florida heat for a cool drink. The price of this is about £14, but if you compare it to the prices of drinks, say 4 times a day it works out FAR cheaper!
From the hotel is free transport to every theme park in the Disney complex, FREE. Buses start running about 15 minutes before the park opening times. Buses arrive also about every 15mins to each individual park, and are guaranteed to fill up fast. So check out times etc and be the first to get on!
* The Parks *
Why do we come to Disney? Is it the free transport from the hotels? No. That’s a plus, but that’s not the reason we traipse half-way across the globe. We go for the magic. The parks. Disney consists of four main theme parks, three water parks and one sports park.
*Magic Kingdom*: The original. This is where the magic lives. You step off the bus at a depot and try to make your way over to the gates as calmly as possible. The friendly woman and the turntable puts your pass through the machine and you walk through stepping onto Main Street USA, and right and the very end you see the spectacular Cinderella’s castle standing proud. You open up the map you picked up on the way in and look at it with a puzzled expression, as you notice the vastness of the Kingdom.
Magic Kingdom is home to the most famous rides on Earth. Including Splash Mountain. On Splash you board a log boat and are taken on a seemingly tame journey, zipadeedoodah plays in the background, and you float through a land of animals. Oh, how lovely. Until… THE HILL. Suddenly the magic music stops, no more lovely creatures, no more colour, just the hill. Slowly in utter suspense you are pulled up. Two vultures stare greedily at you as the ride hangs on the edge. Then… AAARGH! Five stories in a millisecond.
Space Mountain is just as groovy, from the Earth to the Moon in a rocket ship, in total darkness. Definitely the stuff for thrill-a-holics. Shame is doesn’t loop like it’s sister ride in good ol' Paris. Or if you enjoy the less thrill directed rides, try out things like Dumbo and the Teacups! My favourites.
Magic Kingdom also has a numerous amount of free shows to see depending on the season you visit, they’re all well choreographed (of course) and are quite spectacular; except for when I tried to use my camera I was attacked by a little woman screaming "NO NO Sir, No flash photography!" Apparently I’ll affect the actors. Shame on me.
*Epcot*: Epcot is home to the big golf ball. (All very technical jargon eh). Epcot is more of a “discover” park than anything else. The first stop in Epcot is Innovations. Here visitors get the chance to try out and see the latest in science and technology, and all the newest gadgets in existence. I am a geek as you can see. After your brain has been bedazzled by the wonders of the world, you move on to the nations of the world. Here you walk along a long path taking you through the nations. Here you will find all the restaurants and bars you can think of.
Have a stop in England, note how many red phone boxes there are, and have an English stereotypical meal. Mmm fish and chips all around. Or maybe stop in China for more stereotypes. At least they’ve made a good job of the replicas, but one should expect no less from Disney.
On a night-time, return to Epcot for one of the most wonderful displays you’ll see on your vacation; The Illuminations. This is a great day/night out and definitely one not to miss. Also check out Fast Track, Disney’s newest ride. I was sucked into my seat from the G-force of the open air car, speeding at over 60 m.p.h.
*MGM*: Meticulous, great, marvellous! Home of the movies. Here you can experience movie fun and thrilling rides; including The Tower of Terror II (The all new and improved white knuckle ride where you are dropped faster than gravity 13 floors in less than two seconds) and The Rockin’ Roller Coaster (Argh! Yelp! Wee!: While listening to Aerosmith rocking in your ears. All good fun). Unfortunately it’s not a working movie studio so one won’t see a movie production in the making. Shame. That made me sad. :(
*Animal Kingdom*: A hot, long day of animals and rides. Options in this park include a mock safari where guests get to take part in a great feud between poachers and the Disney crew – oh the fun. Also experience a ride into the past… 65 million years in fact; to bring a dinosaur into the present, before, BANG! This is great for animal fanatics as it has a chance to bring you back to nature, remember to take a camera, (and check it’s film!) as you will encounter some of the most rare and dear creatures on earth. Check out the safari, and watch out for the lions, the tigers, the bears – oh my!
My recommendation:
Magic Kingdom: Queues are tremendously long, so take the time to discover FastPass, where you simply insert your park entrance pass into the machine. Then as if by magic a little ticket is printed, giving you a specific time to return and cut the big long queues. (Great for the kids. Keep ‘em happy) Best of all this is all; my favourite F word – FREE!
Animal Kingdom: This Kingdom is tres hot, so I recommend:
(1) Make sure you’ve got sun tan crème aplenty, especially for kids. Factor 25+ is great.
(2) Make sure you’ve brought at least one bottle of water, or consider buying it. It’s that hot! Disney don’t want to be responsible for you passing out on their territory.
(3) Consider purchasing something called a Breeze; or something of a similar name, depending on where you buy it. It’s basically a bottle, with a squeeze to pull and a fan on top to disperse it evenly, keepin’ y’all cool.
*Downtown Disney*: Come on down to Disney central, with hundreds of Disney themed stores, including a 3-storey mini-mall with gifts galore. D.D. is also THE place to venture in the evening as it’s home to… Pleasure Island! :
Pleasure Island: Over 60 bars and nightclubs, all with their particular theme, including Swingin’ Sixties and Country & Western. This is a great place to have a fun, and get away from the kids (do remember to leave them with family or a babysitter or you will be arrested :) for an adults night out [even though children are allowed in the majority of bars]. The bars here are extremely expensive though, so it’s wise to bring a few more bucks to make the most of your evening.
Disney Quest: A short walk from the centre of Downtown Disney, brings you to the newest, (and least advertised) part of Disney. Disney Quest. D.Q. gives one the chance to try out in human experiments. In my own experience, I got to become a giant ball of static electricity, climb up a moving wall, take a picture of myself in twenty years to come (Not so great for my self-esteem), encase myself in a 20 feet long bubble and so much more. This was gidgety, gadgety and also strangely entertaining and educational.
Cirque du Soleil: A once in a lifetime experience! It is pricey, and coming from tightness personified; worth it. It is the tale of a young man pursuing life and is told by fascinating imagery and display; with upside down tricycle riders, people doing epic stunts on trampolines and breathtaking bike riding. Phew! I was petrified and amazed as a woman whooshed over my head, missing it by inches, though still managing her graceful loops and twists. A truly excellent evening out.
My Recommendation: Although the performance is excellent, using a camera in the auditorium is against the circus’ rules! So remember, another time to avoid being arrested. Stuck in the USA in a cell is not the way to spend a vacation.
* The Water parks *
Blizzard Beach - A themed park. A snow covered mountaintop begins to melt in the hot sun. Oh no! What on earth could happen. Ah, I know a range of thrilling waterslides are created including the infamous slide that started it all. Summit Plummet; scary as hell. Hold onto your shorts or you might just lose them some where along the slide. It also burns your back. I came away with scratches all over my poor aching backside.
Typhoon Lagoon - Home of the giant mechanical wave pool. The main "pool" of the park is a small ocean. In the summertime it is often littered with hundreds of people, and the powerful wave is a hazard when Mr Stranger and Mrs No-name bump into you with quite some force. [Pssh! I came on this holiday for fun, and so far I’ve just been maimed]. It is (in spirit of my English accent) jolly good fun. Typhoon Lagoon also boasts an array of white-knuckle equivalent slides.
* The Analysis *
Well, you’ve sat through that over-generous helping of opinion. But here’s when it actually becomes pure opinion.
I love Disney World, and I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t – once they’ve experienced the magic.
Must Do’s: Space Mountain, Rockin’ Rollercoaster, Cirque du Soleil, Blizzard Beach.
This is an experience of a lifetime, nowhere else on earth apart from Disney can so much magic be conjured for people from all ages. I do believe this is a 6 til’ you’re 60 deal. (Not discriminating against those younger than six, and those older than sixty! ).
Excite-o-Meter: ***** / ***** (5/5)
Ride Thrill-o-Meter ****½ / ***** (4.5/5)
Cost-o-Meter (1 cheap, 5 expensive) * / ***** (4.5/5) [What do you expect? It’s Disney!]
Judging from my ever so helpful o-Meters I can draw the conclusion that Disney World is extremely fun, though costly. I hope you can draw the same conclusions also.
Disney stays with you. I do believe children under 4 are a little too young to experience the magic to the most possible, but they’ll still enjoy it. Disney really does have something for everyone.
Even now at my age I giggle like a four year old at the thought of going to Disneyworld Florida again; it’s something EVERYBODY must do before they die. Add it to your list and cross it off when you’ve done it, you won’t be sorry.