Valentin Blue Bay Hotel

Just back from Holiday Village, Mallorca.
To be fair most of the reviews on all sites are fairly accurate, it wasnt that a bad holiday, winter sun and swimming all day with MY KIDS!
(2 adults, 2 kids, one 9 and one 2, all inclusive: october 08)
I will only outline my gripes:
FOOD - mostly crap, only advantage is that you can go back and try another dish until youre exhausted, bored or just lose the will to live, my taste buds were truamatised.
We were led to believe there was 2 special extra resteraunts that we could use once per week, so we booked the "Italian" and "Carribean". The "Italian" is the a section of the main food trough area partitioned of. It was just really bad food, a joke basically. As for the "Carribean", it was the poolside bar tidied up a bit, we didnt bother as other guests told us it was the same joke. Very funny 1st Choice!
DRINK - Hilarious! OK we knew it was local drinks but the quality was very very poor. It all tasted the same, couldnt distinguish between vodka or gin, at least we seen the funny side. The wine was scary! Like watered down sherry. But then we discovered they had cheap Cava which tasted better than the wine or spirits.
Only consolation was the weakness of the alcohol, so one could sip a few drinks all day and not get drunk, infact it takes 7 days to get drunk.