Hotel Triton

The first review is exactly right! It sounds asthough shes eggagerating..but its really THAT bad! It feels asthough your in a prison cell with no privacy, and me like most other people go away and expect luxury. Not here you don't. Fair enough if it was real cheap but it wasnt we paid £450 each for all inclusive and there wasnt any. We had the same idea as the other reviewer, and thought it would save money, but because we were so hungry from picking at stale bread and dead salad we used to go to the shops for real food! The reason i called it a prison cell, was because there was a man always patrolling, day and night. Sure great for safey. However it was only two young girls, me and my friend. One night Jess came back to top up on money and he accused me of bringing a boy back and having the key (since we used to leave it behind reception)?! We were outraged, and he had the cheek to ask her to pay 50euros?! We could even see it behind the counter, so we told him and he made up some poor excuse! The next morning, the maid came and as usual hammered on the door and walked straight in! She cleaned the room around us and usually left towels, every few days. This one time she only left a hair towel, and we required one to get ready at night..we couldnt use a beach towl as they were salty, and the hair towels were napkin sized! So we politely told her and being greece she didnt understand us at first, when she finally did..she suggested it had blown out the balcony!!!! CRAZY I KNOW! there was no point in arguing and accepted it and asked for another..but she wont give us one!? so we had to go to reception and PAY for a second..well not even that becasue there wasnt one! There is more to complain about..dont go and see for yourself..Malia is great and the hotel is a good position you could roll into town. But this was supposed to be 3*, and its fair enough when people say 'ahh its fine you only sleep there' true but i wouldnt want to ut up with this again!? no chance! Id definetely recommend elsewhere!

I recently have returned from a stay at the Triton Hotel and I can quite safely say I would rather have stayed in a small cardboard box (with holes in) in downtown Baghdad. Its worth noting now that I did have an awesome time in Malia and you should definitly go, just don't stay at the Triton. What to deal with first, lets start with the 'all inclusive' element of the hotel. I thought it would be a good idea to book all inclusive so we didn't have to worry about spending on food and we could cut our costs on drink by drinking in the hotel before we went out. This is why I was shocked to find at the Triton that as part of the 'ALL inclusive' programme you have to pay for EVERYTHING. They charge for, A/C, use of the safe, USE OF THE SUN LOUNGERS, use of the poor quality pool table, the fridge in your room, the hairdryer in your room and in a country with temperatures above 30C every day they charge you for bottled water. The only drinks you can get free were, clearly watered down disgusting wine that came out of a gas powered pump, horrible cheap fizzy drinks, the local beer (which was about 0.0000000001%), and a couple of local spirits that you are instantly sick if you drink. If you want anything good there will be a charge. Also some friends we made at the hotel had a flight very late at night but they had to check out of they're room at 12, despite not being their the seven days they'd paid for, so they were made to PAY 10 Euros for the privelage to drink at the pool bar for the rest of the day. Well atleast we didn't have to pay for food out, oh hang on, we did, because the food was so vomit worthy we ate out most of the time. The selection was extremely poor consisting of the same stuff every night, which was unidentifiable chunks of meat (I suspect cat), pasta mixed with meat, chips, and a poor selection of salad, followed by ice cream and grapes for dessert. Oh, I apologise, I forgot the consistantly stale bread. Now this would be bad for a regular person but I'm one of those freaky 'vegetarians', which meant I had to survive (when literally all our money had run out from eating out) on the afore mentioned stale bread. In fact one night I thought I'd make a stand and said to the 'chef' (I can't believe I just described him as a chef, even in inverted comas thats a compliment) please tell me which of these is the vegetarian option, he proceeded to point at some broccoli, fantastic. That brings me nicely around to the staff who (with the exception of a couple bar staff at the pool), were all rude, miserable and completely uninterested in the guests. One day when I placed a half eaten subway on the bed side table and looked ten seconds later to see it was being carried away by a colony of ants (I wish I was exagerrating) I thought I might complain about this one issue (I would have complained about all the of the stuff but I knew nothing would be done). I went down to reception and after being told that the ant colony living in my room was my fault because I took a sandwich up there and waiting 10 minutes I was given a can of mosquito spray (just what you need to kill ants). Surprise surprise,not only did it not kill the ants, it almost killed me and the other two occupants of the room, so in the end its only use was to hit the ants with. Sorry if this is boring you but this is majorly cut down, there is soooooooo much to complain about. Lets get to more problems with the room. The Triton have a very clever system with their showers, which I have never seen before in my life, where they don't attach them to the wall, so as you stand hosing yourself down you have to juggle shampoo, soap etc, switch the shower off, place it on the floor, then rub in your shampoo, pick up the shower from the floor (shampoo now blinding you) and turn it back on. Trust me its very difficult. What else about the room, I don't believe the sheets were changed the whole time we were there, and one morning when the maid burst in she had the cheek to have a go at us for leaving a towell on the floor, oh and the towells she had provided us the day before were all the size of napkins. I think I've covered most things, I'll try and make it a bit more balanced though, the one and only good thing is the location is close to the beach and the bars, oh and the restaurants you'd be forced to go to because the food's so bad. Ermmm I've probably left out stuff but I'm even getting tired of writing myself, I wish I could get some money back but I don't see it happening so I all I can do is warn anyone who reads this.