Marina House Hotel

My wife and I decided that it would be nice to get away for the weekend for our second wedding anniversary, so we settled on Brighton as our destination. I trawled the internet looking for suitable accommodation and plumped for the Marina House 'Hotel' as the photographs and descriptions of the rooms (including 4 poster beds) suggested it was ideal for a romantic break. We opted for the 'French style' four poster room at a cost of £170 for two nights.
Upon arrival at the 'hotel', our first impressions were not good. I noticed that the hanging baskets and tubs which helped to sell the establishment to me in the photographs were not evident.
Workmen were active on the front steps and seemed a little reluctant to move as we made our way through the sawdust and into the hall. A pungent smell of incense filled our nostrils and I wondered what other aroma they were trying to cover up.
The owners were friendly and helpful, giving us a map of the area and marking specific places of interest. When we asked if payment was required up-front, we were assured that could be dealt with at the end of our stay.
We made our way up to the top floor and on the way I noticed that the place was somewhat shabby and the thick layer of dust adorning the chandeliers was not encouraging. When we arrived at our door I saw that the standard lamp outside on the landing was minus a shade and a paint-splattered stepladder was propped against the wall; very attractive.
After negotiating the rather stiff door we entered our room and the four-poster stood before us. It looked as it did in the picture but filled almost the entire room. Clean, white towels had been placed on the bed and tea-making facilities were provided, plus a fridge with England and the three lions stamped onto the glass door; there was another one of these doing nothing on one of the landings, so I presume they had been bought in a job lot.
As for the view, I did not have to part the net curtains as a large hole enabled me to gaze upon no more than a yard below and some rather grey and depressing buildings opposite.
I sat upon the bed and noticed that the bedside cabinet was missing one of its knobs; nice touch! The pillows were far from soft, rather flat, hard and lifeless.
The 'Bathroom':
The 'bathroom' was shielded from the room by a sort of sliding door which had to be slid exactly right as it seemed to be hanging on a little precariously. Shame it did not shut properly and left an inch-wide gap. To say the 'bathroom' was small would be an understatement. It was clean but the toilet tissue was decidedly down-market; very rough and narrow, the sort of stuff you got at school and not good if you suffer from Farmer Giles. Also, the toilet seat did not stay up so I had to hold it up to do a wee. The shower was no more than the sort you get attached to the bath and had no power; it was also set low on the wall so I had to take if off its clip and hold it over my head and wash myself with the one hand. The hot and cold controls were a little temperamental also, and the temperature seemed to vary in mid-flow.
We decided against breakfast the next day for obvious reasons and because it was at 8.30am, which we thought a little late as we had decided to travel along the coast the next day and make the most of the day. We slept soundly that night and left early the next day to explore.
On our arrival back at approximately 5.30, we noticed that the continental breakfast that had been left outside our neighbours' door had been standing there all day and a contingent of flies had decided to investigate the croissants and jug of milk. Nice to see the stepladder was settled into its usual position against the wall.
After changing we went out and returned at around 11.30pm and were greeting by the thump, thump, thump of very loud music coming through our window. The room was unbearably hot as there was no air conditioning and no fan provided but we had to shut the window to get some sleep but this had little effect. We realise it was a Saturday night and relatively early but by the time half past four in the morning came around and the noise continued, we decided that we had had enough.
We packed and went down to reception at 5.45am and called the number the proprietor had given us in case we needed to reach him. We heard it ring in the locked reception and some mumbled speech coming from behind one of the doors in the hall, though no one was forthcoming. We hung up and rang again: more murmurings but this time we got a reply. We informed the guy that we were checking out and he emerged from his bedroom dressed in some rather grey looking jammy bottoms. I informed him that we had had no sleep and he replied we were not the only ones. He apologised and told us that he had rung the police but they told him that it was not their problem. I wondered if this was a typical Saturday night.
I told him I was not happy and that I wanted to settle up. He asked for £170 but we reminded him that we had not had breakfast and he knocked £20 off. He offered us a big discount on a return visit but I let him know that we would never return.
We appreciate that the owners have no control over the volume from the adjacent building but they do have control over their own establishment. They must realise that it's the little touches that make a hotel, or B&B as it really is. Dust, missing lampshades, doors that do not shut, overpowering incense, Del-Boy fridges, dribbling showers etc, etc are not the ingredients for a romantic weekend.
If you are planning a romantic weekend away with a French-style room and four-poster bed, do yourself a favour: find a proper hotel and vet it first; I know I will next time!
Alternatively, I hear Travel Lodge is reasonable.