Swallow Chaucer Hotel

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The address listed for this hotel leads to a door that is permanently locked, and at which no one answers the bell.
The television in the room, although new, received only four terrestrial channels. I was moved to another room where I was told the television was equipped with Freeview, but it had not been set up to do so. It is inexplicable that such a basic amenity provided for guests had not been set up -- or checked to ensure that it was operational.
The mattress in the room was not fit for use. The springs were so close to the surface that it was like lying on a bag of coat hangers. On the evidence of the staff’s inability to resolve other basic failings, I had no reason to believe that any other room would be better – if not actually worse. Unable to sleep on the bed, I passed the night (I cannot write 'slept') on the floor.
The shower is operated by an unusual system that required minutes of trial and error. (Imagine doing this first thing in the morning.) It would have been a simple courtesy to post a sign explaining how to use it.
That the management fails so spectacularly to demonstrate a capacity to anticipate primary customer concerns (Will guests find us at the address we advertise? Does the television work? Can one sleep on the bed? Will guests want to use their own initiative to figure out how to operate an unusual shower faucet?) to say nothing of the inclination to do so, speaks volumes about their concern for the welfare of guests.
In response to my letter to the General Manager, I received a trite and condescending reference to “the difficulties you appear to have encountered”, and which tried to explain everything away with the claim that “the hotel has been very busy”. My primary complaint, the state of the mattress, he ignored altogether.
Stay here at your own risk; you won’t go back.