Semiramis Hotel

booked this hotel on the strength of its claims to be 5 star standard. Foolishly, I expected a degree of opulence, I was sorely disappointed.
In appearance, the hotel has a low quality of finish (nylon carpets for example), it was poorly decorated a number of years ago and has become grubby and chipped since.
Concerns raised by other reviewers are all true, the vents in the bathrooms bring a wiff of the sewers to the bedrooms, the staff are surly and seem to have no interest in British guests, the rooms were not properly cleaned. Our room was above the kitchen which was very noisy throughout the night.
There were a variety of outdoor facilities but think British holiday camp rather than La Manga, with line dancing and aqua aerobics being some of the activities taking place, but unless you are all inclusive you will be charged extra for pretty much everything. They do have a good pool if you can bear the pounding non stop techno coming from the poolside soundsystem and the pool staff bellowing at each other across the pool.
Sadly, the rude duty manager my girlfriend spoke to genuinely believed that this was a 5 star hotel which says to me he has no idea what a real 5 star hotel looks like. I don't know who has awarded this hotel 5 stars but I suspect it was Hotel Kenzi Semiramis themselves, it certainly wasn't michelin or the AA . My girlfriend thinks its akin to what we brits would consider 3 star, I personally think even that is a stretch.